Newswire: Toby Keith to put compromised boot up Saudi Arabia’s ass during Trump visit

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Toby Keith, country music’s most distinguished mudflap, has been confirmed to perform at a men-only concert in Saudi Arabia this Saturday, just one of the many amenities currently being arranged around Donald Trump—including ketchup-slathered steak, Fox News sycophants, human rights violators, and cognitive dissonance—to make him feel more at home. Keith’s appearance was announced by his publicist, Elaine Schock, speaking freely in a way she would not be able to enjoy inside a nation governed by the strict Sharia law that Trump and Keith’s supporters are always railing against, whenever it involves presidents who are black.

According to NBC, Schock offered “no comment” on the fact that her client—whose entire career is predicated on fondling the flagpole boners of true patriots over our proud freedoms, all while moaning, hot and wet in their ear, about the naughty foreigners trying to take them away, daddy …